I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
