bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
No...this little piggys going to the bar
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
