i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
