I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
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The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
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Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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