Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
