Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize