it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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