thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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