is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
So here I am, sexting at work.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
