...so i touched it.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
