I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
