What did we do last night that was yellow?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
