We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize