he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i just google imaged poop.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
