I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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