She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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