I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
