...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
