Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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