Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
