I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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