I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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