Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
