and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
