if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
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I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
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Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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