If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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