So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Randomize
