I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
