I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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