The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
