So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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