My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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