i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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