Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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