Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
