Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
