Christians are straight up FREAKS
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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