I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
