nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
