'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
