party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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