the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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