last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
