is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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