I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
