Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
