Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
