I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
bring money and cleavage
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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