new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
