My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
