i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
