His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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