No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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