Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
