We're facebook friends in real life
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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