By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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