I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
