She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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