YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
